[Worth.]

I'm gonna write through my headache right now just to get an idea out while it is still strong. I've been reading Penny Arcade for a few years now - not nearly as many as most fans, but enough to warrant thorough enjoyment and appreciation on my part. Recently they've had episodes of their show playing where they talk about... well, whatever is new with the entire company I suppose. In today's episode, Tycho was talking about all that they have achieved, all that they have and earned. He said he frequently reflects on the life that could have been if their comics had not taken off, if they'd been forced to work (and I'm paraphrasing here) normal jobs on minimum wage and that kind of thing. He said, while it terrifies him, the best he can do each day is to continue to earn everything he has - to make himself worthy of all that has been given to him. That really hit home for me.
I have so many friends in such lower places, with no resources or connections, and too many times I look at all that I have been spoiled with and feel guilty that it's being given to me instead of the people who want it, who deserve it. I feel like a talentless, lazy waste of space insulting the honest, brilliant work and devotion all my friends exude every day. And like a typical selfish, spoiled brat, I never push myself to be worthy of all I have been given. God has given me more chances and opportunities in my short years here than most people get in a lifetime. For the first time in my life I want to aspire to be worthy of what I have. And if it ever feels wrong, or too hard... then I'm probably doing something right. I can't say that this very minute will be the turning point in which I change my every habit, my every whim; but I want this minute to be the moment I remember with the power to change myself each and every time I have the chance to. I don't want to look back on this time and say, "What have I done?" I want to say, "Look how far I have come. Look how far I can still go."

Thanks Tycho (and Gabe too :3) I can always count on you guys to pick me up even when I don't know that I'm down. I know I'll go to PAX someday :3 Maybe when I do, I'll be proud of what I have to say.